"ImmoralMinority" (araimondo)
11/12/2018 at 15:09 • Filed to: None
2
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"ImmoralMinority" (araimondo)
11/12/2018 at 15:09 • Filed to: None | 2
| 13 |
For some reasons, the world has decided to throw successive curveballs at me from the past.
In today’s episode, one of my former associates from when I was a partner at a big firm contacted me. When I met her, she was in a professional tailspin. She had been misused, mismanaged, and mistreated by some of my partners. They saw their failure as hers, and were ready to fire her. She was demoralized and ready to quit. I took her under my wing, and she flourished because she was smart and capable all along. She was fun to work with, and I liked her. She had guts, which is a rare thing and she never panicked.
She was the first one that I ever invested in that I lost when she got poached by an LA firm , and that experience was very educational for me professionally. We have loosely stayed in touch, and I have wished her well as she has moved through a couple of well known firms.
Apparently, that is at an end. For whatever reason, she wants out of that world and contacted me to see if we could work together again, 6 years after she decided that this path wasn’t for her. I’d like to help her, but everything has changed and somebody else stepped into the opportunity that was once hers. You can't go back in time, and that moment of opportunity came and went. I am thinking about it, but I can't really see anything for her, and I feel bad about it. Am I too cold about this?
RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
> ImmoralMinority
11/12/2018 at 15:15 |
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You can always employ her off the books as an assassin, right? I mean, maybe there’s no room in the firm but there’s room in the Firm, if you get me.
DipodomysDeserti
> ImmoralMinority
11/12/2018 at 15:19 |
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I don’t think you’re you’re being cold. It would be unfair to both of you to try and force her into a position that just isn’t there anymore. While it might feel good in the short term, I think your fut is already telling you it’s ultimately a bad move.
Also, somewhat off topic, but Adam Sandler has become popular again...but with teenage girls. It’s mind boggling. My students were talking about him last week. I asked them them if they had seen his older stuff. They responded that they really liked “50 F irst Dates”...
and 100 more
> ImmoralMinority
11/12/2018 at 15:20 |
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Cold? No.
Not being judgmental, because she had to do whatever was best in her life, but she showed you her colors. How long before she splits again for another opportunity?
If she’s as good as you say, she’ll figure it out on her own.
Cé hé sin
> ImmoralMinority
11/12/2018 at 15:21 |
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The standard response would be to explain that you have no vacancies at the moment but will keep her in mind if any arise.
davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
> ImmoralMinority
11/12/2018 at 15:24 |
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she was smart and capable all along. She was fun to work with, and I liked her. She had guts, which is a rare thing and she never panicked.
How valuable is all that above for you in an employee ? Would she be able to bring in new clients? Is the “somebody else” performing admirably in the role?
WiscoProud
> ImmoralMinority
11/12/2018 at 15:26 |
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Just because you don’t have a position for her, doesn’t mean you need to cut her loose. You may have a position in the future, or the person currently in the position could in-turn be poached. Life if funny like that.
Be honest and say you don’t have anything for her at the moment, but you’ll keep an eye out. If she really made an impression on you like you’re saying, have lunch with her and touch base. It doesn’t hurt anything, and your paths may cross again in the future.
someassemblyrequired
> ImmoralMinority
11/12/2018 at 15:29 |
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You can’t change the fact that it doesn’t work at the moment - I’d be honest about that - it’s best for both of you
. You’d probably do her more favors by asking what’s up and letting her talk through it, because something’s obviously gone quite sideways in LA, and sometimes it can be helpful to have the insight of an old colleague
.
Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
> ImmoralMinority
11/12/2018 at 15:48 |
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She’s not wrong for reaching out, you’re not wrong for declining. Seems straightforward. You can’t put her problems over those that chose to stay/work with you.
RallyWrench
> DipodomysDeserti
11/12/2018 at 16:05 |
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Wonder what they’d make of Tollbooth Willy. Or the Severe Beating of a High School Spanish Teacher.
EngineerWithTools
> ImmoralMinority
11/12/2018 at 16:22 |
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You know - probably better than most - that reality is cold some days.
It’s ok to both feel bad for her and to turn her down. You have an obligation to yourself and to your current employees to make your firm the best it can be . If that doesn’t involve her, it’s sad, but it’s real.
You’re clearly a conscientious and thoughtful boss. I think she’s lucky to have worked for you once, and for you to have taken her call and considered her proposal .
Chariotoflove
> ImmoralMinority
11/12/2018 at 16:57 |
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I don’t think it’s cold at all. I’m assuming you wished her well on her chosen path 6 years ago, and I’ll assume she was grateful for the opportunity you gave her when she needed it most. Now, it’s just not there, and I’m sure she won’t hold that against you.
I understand feeling bad that you can’t help her right now, but don’t feel bad about it, if you know what I mean.
Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
> ImmoralMinority
11/12/2018 at 19:29 |
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“I am thinking about it, but I can’t really see anything for her, and I feel bad about it. Am I too cold about this?”
She made her choices. She’s an adult. She has to live with her choices.
Having said that, I’m sure if there was an opportunity at some point in the future, you could consider giving her a call.
It’s not like there is a spot available that you’re blocking her from.
Something spiteful like that might be something to feel bad about.
pip bip - choose Corrour
> ImmoralMinority
11/13/2018 at 05:36 |
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no
just tell her the truth
if you can’t help, so be it